


re:Horizon

by F-117 Nighthawk (F117_Nighthawk)



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Karel's bad at writing emails, Post-Horizon (Mass Effect), Post-Mass Effect 2: Arrival, Pre-Suicide Mission, like directly before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 21:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20123767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F117_Nighthawk/pseuds/F-117%20Nighthawk
Summary: Karel Shepard sends one last message before jumping through the Omega Four Relay.





	re:Horizon

**Author's Note:**

> hey guess what ya boi spent the entire week before their black belt test (yeah that's fucking right I'm a BLACK BELT NOW ICAN"T BELIEVE IT) playing mass effect because anxiety is a bitch and the only way I could not overexert myself practicing was thoroughly distracting myself and the first two were on sale a few weeks ago sooooooooooo.
> 
> anyway this happened! Karel's paragade if anyone cares. Now I'm gonna go clean the kitchen before I download three. and then once that's done it's time for a renegon run.

Kaidan,

I...I don’t even know how to start this. Honestly, I’ll be surprised if you actually get this. Even if Miranda’s stopped reading my messages, the Illusive Man’s probably got someone else on the job. Maybe he’ll let it through, just as one last favor. 

You know after Horizon Joker was ready to come down himself and, I quote, break his arm at you? He was more pissed off than Garrus, and that’s saying something. I pointed them at the Collectors, so I think you’re safe from Archangel’s wrath for the moment, but I can’t promise Joker won’t have EDI point the _ Normandy’s _ shiny new canon at you. 

I’m not sure if either of them really understand why you did what you did, but I think I do. So don’t apologize. 

I spent two years on an operating table with no knowledge of what was going on and that didn’t hit me until I saw you. It’s been two years, but for me it’s barely been a few months. I woke up in the middle of a firefight with no idea where the hell I was or what the hell was going on. And since then, I think I’ve done nothing but fight. Fight Collectors, fight Geth, fight Cerberus, even fight you.

I don’t want to fight with you. I never did, I never do. I understand, I _ completely _ understand why you walked away on Horizon. If somehow we’d switched places, I’d have done the same thing. 

I’m just… fuck. You know the first thing I did when I got dragged into the main Cerberus base was? Ask them where the hell my crew was. I got them to tell me where everyone was but you. No one would tell me, not even Anderson when I finally made it to the Citadel. He wouldn’t even give me your damn email. I’m pretty damn sure the Illusive Man did it on purpose. Easiest way to control your favorite pet is not tell her how to regain the one thing she’s still missing, right? Dangle it in front of her and yank it away, drag her kicking and screaming towards your own goals.

It’s like the damn window on the ceiling. Dangling in front of me, invading my dreams, not a shutter control I can find to block it out.

Oh and make no mistake, I know I’m a pet. I have surprising freedom of movement, but I’ve lost count of the number of bugs Mordin, Tali and I have removed from this ship. It’s like every time we land some Cerberus operative sneaks more in. But this is _ my _ mission, not his. We’re doing it my way. 

We’re about to go through the Omega Four relay. It’s a suicide mission. We all know that. But I have faith we’ll make it through. We’re going to take the Collectors out from the source. The things took my crew, so we’re getting them back, and however many colonists we can find. We’re going to grab whatever we can that could help us against the Reapers.

And then I’m blowing the place up. 

It’s not like I can get any worse than what I just did, right? Blowing up a Mass Relay, dooming 305,000 to save billions more? 

If you can, tell Hackett his package is on Illium, with Liara. It’s got a copy of my armor recordings from that favour he requested. If we survive this, the _ Normandy _ and her crew will be waiting for escort back to Earth there too. 

I still love you.

\--Karel 


End file.
